More Trainage

There was a guy on the F train in Brooklyn yesterday wearing sweater....sweatpants. Grey sweatpants with inserts of fair isle sweater panels. Yes, I said panels. Unfortunately I was sitting beside him so a pic would have been too obvious. Should have done it anyway.

Huggie Wuggie Was A Bear

Yesterday on the subway--

Guy sitting next to me, "Thank you for being alive."
Me, "Thank you."
Guy, "You have a huggie  face."                                                                                                                                                                                                   Me, "A huggie face?"
Guy, "Yes, you want to hold it in your hands and stare at it."
Me, "Thank you"...as I inch my face closer and closer to the paper I'm reading.
Guy, "Thanks again for being alive. This is my stop."

Never a dull moment on the train.

***He also said nothing I was reading could be as interesting as me. Take that New York Times.

 

Sex for Sex

Sometimes when you have been mired in an unhealthy relationship for 3 years and haven't had sex in 7 months, you will ignore what you feel about someone, what you intuitively know because you are compelled to recognize a core human need--to acknowledge and express the yearning to feel desire and to be desired.

My mission now is not to try and change the situation or the person. Why is this so easy to say and hard to do. It's not what you know, it's how you react to it. My job is have gratitude for the experience, to enjoy and let it go.

Mission accepted.

Having An I Don't Love NY Moment

What is it with people taking up the entire sidewalk and glaring at you as if it's a standoff to see who will move first. As I was walking home today in the 100 degree weather, a group of 3 (2 guys and a girl in the middle) were walking toward me taking up the entire sidewalk. As I was walking on the "house/concrete wall" side, there wasn't anywhere for me to go. The guy stared at me and moved maybe...maybe....2 inches which made me have to turn sideways. My bag still grazed him but not hard enough. What is that about? Is it just being an asshole, is there some kind of weird power play going on? Seriously, what happened to manners? Makes me want to scream fucking asshole. Fucking Asshole. Okay.

In all fairness to NY, I've had this happen in Va too but much more frequently in NY.

Ass Outage

 (Pic for reference only--the shorts were much much shorter)
When did it become acceptable to wear boy short underwear (passing as shorts) under a sheer skirt? I was in a coffee shop a couple of weeks ago when in pranced a woman (early 20's) with half her ass hanging out. In her defense, he assets were great but come on. In truth, if it had been in NY instead of Richmond, I wouldn't have given it a second thought, but it wasn't. Am I becoming an old fuddy duddy? I don't think so. Why is there a skin contest with so many women these days? I know the common arguments--porn, insecurity--but what happened to the fine art of subtlety? I often wonder if there will be a backlash when less skin is seen as more provocative than more skin showing.

Rarrrhhhh! Rarrh??

I'm not sure cougars even make that kind of noise, but it's on my mind today. I went out with someone--David-- two nights ago that was born the year I entered college...the year I ENTERED college....you get where I'm going with this, yes?

First of all, the word cougar and all its negative insinuations is vile. I emailed Courteney Cox telling her she should be ashamed to be in a show promoting the word, but I'm sort of doubting she really took it to heart or that she even saw it.

Information you need to complete the scenario:

1. We met when we both looked at the nastiest apartment in Brooklyn. Dis. Gust. Ing. For reals.
2. I had just worked out. Let's just say I wasn't at my best.
3. I was with a male neighbor and David got my email address...to share a website on apartment openings. In hindsight, this was a bit forward as I was with a boy. A day later he requested to be my very best friend on FB, and 2 weeks later I decided "why not" and accepted.
4. He's a really good looking, olive skinned, muscular, dark haired (lots of it) nice young boy who happens to be an excellent pool player and kisser, but I digress. He's also a bartender/actor/writer/producer. I am a day-glo white, somewhat muscular, mostly brown haired (all brown haired when I've been to that fancy salon on 82nd St), nice youngish girl who happens to be an awful pool player (I have tournament stats to prove it) and a rather good kisser...or so I've been told. But who really knows about that? Everyone thinks they're a good kisser--all depends on the 2 people kissing in my humble opinion.

What am I to do with this situation? Besides owing him a nice dinner and some better billiards skills...what do I do? I've never been a person to date for sex only or for fun. I like fun but not in my relationships *dripping sarcasm*. I had one one night stand--the first one doesn't count as I knew him from high school and we ended up dating for 3 months.  I can't even get a one night stand down correctly. On the other hand, I could use some real honest to goodness passionate sex.

Points to ponder.

Curious George

A few months ago, I went out with George the dentist (which always makes me think of the line from Rudolph--I want to be a den..tist). I went out with him once in Nov and had the second date in Feb. He drove about an hour from his house in bum fuck NJ--remote, but it is at the beach. We had sushi, went into the city to the New Museum (I'd been wanting to go for a long time), had hot toddies and went to a client's bday party. It was fun; he was cool (it was all gay men and he didn't freak out).

We got back to my apt about midnight and by this time I was sleepy and in slightly buzzed mode. We were lying on my bed on top of the covers semi sleeping and I got up to change. Went into the bathroom and came back in pj bottoms and a tank top. He was now under the covers without a shirt. He said I hope you don't mind me getting comfortable. Of course not. I got under the covers and put my head on his chest and my hand inadvertently hit his thigh and I felt skin...as in no undies...as in naked. I thought....nahhh. I turned over and went to sleep. INFO--we had not made out, as in our tongues had not ever interacted. My lips had because every time he pecked me, he would flick my lips....if that sounds remotely sensual...reread  and really think about it.

Later that day, we were texting and it came up that he doesn't ever wear underwear. I thought--OK, this man brought his toothbrush and toothpaste to my house but no underwear??!! He brushed his teeth at least 5 times in 18 hours. Do all dentists obsessively brush? Ironically, his teeth were on the funky side.

Claustroboybia....

Tall, slightly goofy Russ, appeared to be sane enough to go on a second date. His overbite was cute and endearing and his aloof manner seemed sweet and a bit shy, so I trekked an hour and 10 minutes up to the upper east side. Granted, he was wearing white sneakers on both dates (CUE, CUE, CUE--NY men do not do that). On the second date, he added a South Beach ball cap to the ensemble.

He slammed me hard (and a few times) on my order of a margarita on the rocks instead of the slushy variety (really??)...he also did that on the first date....cue weirdo signal. As we left the restaurant, he asked if I wanted to see his apartment and I asked, "oh, is it close?" as he pointed out his building. It was past 10 and I had an early appt in the city the next morning AND I still had a subway ride of an hour and 10 minutes again so I said I better head home. Again the slamming started. If you harangue me enough maybe I'll change my mind? As he accepted defeat and walked me to the train, he rubbed my neck and brought his pointer finger around to fondle my ear canal. Yes, he put his finger in my ear; and no, don't think he accidentally brushed the edge of my ear. He went in. Needless to say, there's been no further contact with him. Seriously, W. T. F.? I'm going to start a new dating site--whatthefuckdating.com.

U.S. Air to the Rescue

As I sat on a plane a couple of weeks ago, I realized that reality really is perception. A plane in the distance went screaming by and I realized I was screaming by them too, even though I felt as if we were plodding along. As I looked out at the other plane--the truth--I realized I was blasting through space also. Reality and perception didn't match up in my personal experience but were totally in sync from the observation as the bystander which made me think about therapy (shock)....

Is that the goal of therapy--to see perception and reality as one?

Let the Dating Begin.....Match. Dot. Com.

 
Last night I had a second date with Barry, the night before a first date with Rick, and the night before that, a first date with Steven. Do I want to see any of them again? Probably not.

Here's the low down.

Barry was a sincere, super serious, sensitive guy (all the "s" adjectives). He's a bit younger (5 years), has the thickest head of hair on the planet, and seems to be incredibly genuine but not much fun. How important should fun be? Very. He also seemed a bit unsure of himself which was not a big turn-on. Don't tell me on the first date that you'll understand if I want to be just friends.
You already know what kind of sex that's going to be.

Rick asked me what high school I attended, yes high school. Twice.  He's 48 years old. Why would he ask about high school? I don't understand how that can really be a relevant question at our age....and did he think he'd know of my high school in a tiny town in NC....hmmmm? He's a cardiologist and still thinks jokes about Brooklyn being another country are cute. That was funny when Karen on Will and Grace did it (remember--"what flight do you take to Brooklyn?") but he couldn't pull it off. He also wanted to know if I'd be into wearing black boots and fishnets. Let's cut right to the chase. Since it's Spring and it seems like an interminably long time since I've had a nude experience with someone else involved, I thought, well....maybe. That was before he gave me wet pecks (ewww) before I slithered down into the subway. Literally had to slide away from the saliva.

Steven....ah, Steven. He seemed a bit more promising as he was interesting, fun and thought I was lovely....He also lied about his age and his marital status. He "feels" divorced so that made it accurate. Hell, I feel 25. See how that logic works? The most ironic part of the whole episode and his argument on how his lies were really okay was....drum roll please...he's a psychologist. Beware NY.

Tonight is Russ. We'll shall see.

And so I begin

As someone who recently moved to NY, these are my observations, experiences, and "Can you believe this shit?" stories. Welcome to my world of things that amuse, disturb or fall somewhere in between. The principle reason I'm traveling this road is to prove to myself that I can. Perpetually conceiving ideas but never giving birth, it's time to step out of my fear and embrace the danger of not being perfect in life, relationships, writing, creative endeavors--the permission to be flawed. I'm also hoping to save some money on my therapist. We'll see how that goes.